Lost and scared

I am just at a loss I really don't know what to do anymore.  I feel like this whole world is out there and I am just forgotten.  Nothing seems the same anymore.  I just do not know where to go from here, what do I do.  I want to be whole, I want to be special,  I want to be the person who comes first.  No more little secrets, No more being hidden away.  My mind is this vast area where I just cant seem to make sense of anything.  My therapist tells me to let go of everything from my past.  Everything from this past year.  She thinks me just going somewhere new and starting all over on my own may be the best thing for me.  I really don't know.   Will it be.  I am not good at doing alone.  My heart is broke my hands are trembling and I just can not sort out the feelings in my head.  Maybe she is right.  Go just be me for awhile forget about everything and everyone and just be me.  She tells me I can not love or let someone love me until I love myself.  Hmmmm interesting concept.  I don't think I know how to love myself.  Is that possible.  When I look in the mirror I do not see someone worthy of love.  I see a failure, let down, disappointment and ugliness.  I just once want to see something different.  We worked some today on body image.  We took a washable marker and outlined the areas I feel need changing.  Well I was a big red road map, the only area I didn't feel needed changing was my nose.  Oh that was already I told her I had a nose job as a teen.  She told me until the red lines go how can I expect anyone to love me for me.  To truly love me the way I want.  I have to first look inside and love myself.  How do I do that?  I don't think I have ever really loved myself.  How do you start?  What if you never do?  Am I destined to become my mother in every way?  Always forlorn weeping for the children she lost instead of the one she had here?  I don't want that at all.  Is there anyway I can be fixed can I learn these things?  I need hope is it out there...