The hardest night of my existence

I am in a bitter battle with my heart and mind.  Eating disorders ruin everything. Depression ruins everything.  I RUIN EVERYTHING.  Why? is all I can ask myself.  WHY won't anyone see why won;t they help me help my daughter?  I destroyed my body and my mind.  I had two good things finally and one may be take away or both I don't have a clue.  I feel like if I choose one I lost the other or if I choose the other option I can still loose both.  I feel a piece of me deep down inside dying slowly.  All my dreams and wants mean nothing to me right now.  THis moment it's it .  I just feel like I am dying and no one wants to save me.  NO one wants to save HER.  Life is cruel it sucks.  The world sucks.  People suck and Ana sucks it sucks monkey balls.  My whole life everything has been out of my reach and this too stands to be taken from me Why?  Someone please just stand up for me stand up for my daughter my precious angel. Have faith in me.  I can do this I can beat this I just need someone to believe in us!!!!