I've never looked at myself as pretty, as thin, as smart, as anything worth loving. I strive for perfection. I need to be perfect. Only upon being perfect can I truly have all the things I want. But, at what cost should this perfection occur. I want to be accepted, to be loved, to be wanted, to be needed. But what have I given up in return for these things. The accusations, the name calling the meanness I have seen from people has caused me to delve lower and lower into a stream of nothingness lower and lower into an abyss. That from which I am not sure if I can ever truly get back out of. I have lost so many things this past week. Friends people whom I trusted with my deepest darkest secrets have turned from me I can't take it anymore it is driving me mad my life is spiraling out of control into a shock wave of guilt and madness. I have things I should be thankful for and I am I truly am thankful for that but its those damn things that I have lost that continue to make me feel unworthy.
I have Anorexia my strive for perfection started at such a young age and what has it cost me. Severe mood swings, lack of energy, poor memory, brittle nails, tooth issues, bloating, constipation, dizziness, fainting, headaches, anemia, hormonal fluctuations, high risk pregnancy, bruises and most recently heart issues. At, 22 years old I have been told I am at risk for sudden cardiac death, I have had to have an internal defibrillator inserted to keep my heart beating properly. All of this because I have a massive need for perfection and massive need to belong. What is wrong with me? Can someone or something fix me?
Facts
Anorexia nervosa is more prevalent in the age group of the 15-year-old to 23-year-old female although a younger age group is appearing at an alarming rate.
Excessive dieting and exercising can be seen in the anorexic leading to an extreme thinness in the body.
On the average it is estimated that 1% of females in their teens and early 20s develops this eating disorder.
Studies have shown that 10% to 15% will die of complications arising from anorexia nervosa.
Peer pressure and an ever-increasing emphasis of today’s model society seem to play a very real part in the development of anorexia nervosa.
People with anorexia will severely limit their dietary intake even though wanting to eat and being very hungry out of fear of becoming fat.
People suffering from anorexia, even when dramatically thin, will see a distorted image when looking in the mirror and will see a very heavy person.
A person afflicted with anorexia nervosa has erosion of the tooth’s enamel and an increased incidence of cavities.
People with anorexia can sometimes develop kidney infections and kidney failure.
Studies have shown that genetics may or may not be attributed to the development of anorexia nervosa. Researchers theorize that a genetic component will make a woman or man more prone to using this method of controlling a stressful environment or answer the need for perfectionism.
After a very small meal an anorexic will feel bloated due to extreme shrinkage of their stomach.
Studies have shown that 50% of all anorexics will suffer from bone thinning or otherwise known as osteoporosis.
A person with anorexia nervosa will often shield themselves from the outside and will avoid social gatherings due to fear of being in an “eating” situation.
An individual suffering from anorexia nervosa will often have intolerance to cold temperatures due to low body weight.
In the younger person with anorexia nervosa growth may be slowed and cause short stature.
In severe cases of anorexia nervosa hospitalization may be required.
In some cases of anorexia nervosa medication may be needed to treat underlying depression or an obsessive-compulsive disorder which thereby complicates this psychiatric illness.
Proper medical treatment involving physicians, psychiatric professionals, family and friends play an important role in the success of the person who is diagnosed with anorexia nervosa.
Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness
A study by the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders reported that 5 – 10% of anorexics die within 10 years after contracting the disease; 18-20% of anorexics will be dead after 20 years and only 30 – 40% ever fully recover
The mortality rate associated with anorexia nervosa is 12 times higher than the death rate of ALL causes of death for females 15 – 24 years old.
20% of people suffering from anorexia will prematurely die from complications related to their eating disorder, including suicide and heart problems
Basically I am dying to be accepted!!!!
Excessive dieting and exercising can be seen in the anorexic leading to an extreme thinness in the body.
On the average it is estimated that 1% of females in their teens and early 20s develops this eating disorder.
Studies have shown that 10% to 15% will die of complications arising from anorexia nervosa.
Peer pressure and an ever-increasing emphasis of today’s model society seem to play a very real part in the development of anorexia nervosa.
People with anorexia will severely limit their dietary intake even though wanting to eat and being very hungry out of fear of becoming fat.
People suffering from anorexia, even when dramatically thin, will see a distorted image when looking in the mirror and will see a very heavy person.
A person afflicted with anorexia nervosa has erosion of the tooth’s enamel and an increased incidence of cavities.
People with anorexia can sometimes develop kidney infections and kidney failure.
Studies have shown that genetics may or may not be attributed to the development of anorexia nervosa. Researchers theorize that a genetic component will make a woman or man more prone to using this method of controlling a stressful environment or answer the need for perfectionism.
After a very small meal an anorexic will feel bloated due to extreme shrinkage of their stomach.
Studies have shown that 50% of all anorexics will suffer from bone thinning or otherwise known as osteoporosis.
A person with anorexia nervosa will often shield themselves from the outside and will avoid social gatherings due to fear of being in an “eating” situation.
An individual suffering from anorexia nervosa will often have intolerance to cold temperatures due to low body weight.
In the younger person with anorexia nervosa growth may be slowed and cause short stature.
In severe cases of anorexia nervosa hospitalization may be required.
In some cases of anorexia nervosa medication may be needed to treat underlying depression or an obsessive-compulsive disorder which thereby complicates this psychiatric illness.
Proper medical treatment involving physicians, psychiatric professionals, family and friends play an important role in the success of the person who is diagnosed with anorexia nervosa.
Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness
A study by the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders reported that 5 – 10% of anorexics die within 10 years after contracting the disease; 18-20% of anorexics will be dead after 20 years and only 30 – 40% ever fully recover
The mortality rate associated with anorexia nervosa is 12 times higher than the death rate of ALL causes of death for females 15 – 24 years old.
20% of people suffering from anorexia will prematurely die from complications related to their eating disorder, including suicide and heart problems
Basically I am dying to be accepted!!!!
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