Strive for perfection

I want to be perfect. Maybe if I become perfect then I will be wanted and needed. I want to be loved. I've made some major mistakes over the last couple of weeks and I regret them so much. I wonder why I just can't get it right. Leah is my world she deserves a family and a father. Did I do the right thing? Should I have given her up for adoption?  I feel like I am the world's worst mother. I just want stability and love. That's the most that anyone wants. It's lonely right now.