Just for today, I will be the best "me" I can be. There is no competition because there is only 1 "me." Just for today, I am abstinent and free from the addiction of anorexia/bulimia. Just for today, I am open to the miracles that surround me. Just for today, I will graciously accept the love and encouragement of my friends and family. Just for today, I will take care of my inner child as she has always deserved. Just for today because it is one day, one moment at a time.
This is something I am striving to do everyday. Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow. I will not allow my eating disorder to overcome me, to destroy me. I think about it all the time, which I know is a bad thing but at the same time it helps, it keeps me grounded, it reminds where I was and where I am going. I think about because, I cannot just skip breakfast, or lunch. I cannot just drink water all day. smoke cigarettes. I remind myself it is OK to eat that extra piece of food. I have to remember not to obsess over the scale, IT's JUST A NUMBER. These are the things I deal with everyday. Don't go to the bathroom after you eat. Diet Pills are bad. Diuretics are not good for you. That is not fat on your thighs you are becoming stronger and healthier. Don't exercise to much. I just at times have to remind myself that like an alcoholic or drug addict I too have a disease of the mind that threatens to consume me and take away my life if I do not remind myself of the simplest things. Today was a good day I ate I didn't obsess over calories, I didn't weigh myself. I looked at myself in the mirror without disgust. I saw my expanding belly as what it was the gift of life growing inside of me. Today was good. I do not know what tomorrow holds but I do know this I can face it I can win. Anorexia is a part of me but I will not let it take over me. I will be sharing some videos on my page here and again ones that show the truth behind this disease maybe it can help you or someone you love. If viewing from my page please remember to pause my music player it is in the circle at the bottom or view it on youtube. Have a blessed day everyone.
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