Here we go

I am a bit upset.  I can feel the feelings of unworthiness seeping into my soul again.  I lie here staring at the ceiling.  I don't know who I can trust anymore. I am questioning my worth as a person. I have done so much to get where I am at.  I am proud of my accomplishments. Yet, it seems that the moment I let someone in the moment I allow someone to see a bit of the real me, BAM, they have to make me an object of ridicule.  Make me feel like I am a joke.  It hurts so much more for me when I see that someone I care about even more laughs and encourages the behavior.  I really don't know anymore.  Maybe I am meant to not have friends or be happy.  I have to learn how to be strong.  I know I am in the alone.  I need to be in it to win it! Thank Goodness for my therapist.  Taking time on his day off to support me and be there for me.  I know he gets paid well to do it but sometimes he goes above and beyond for me.  I am not mental or crazy or nuts I have an eating disorder.  I am not in an institution I will be getting treated in a clinic that specializes in eating disorders to get help for me and my daughter.  There are 3 people right now I worry about me, my daughter and the wonderful man I have chosen to be in my life! I don't think I have the energy for this anymore.